When At The Bottom, Look Upward.

Well Mom lost her battle with cancer last Monday morning. She took her last breath and passed into her next life. My belief is she is taking residence in heaven. This not only helps me get through my tough days it also reminds me of my own life. Watching someone die is very difficult especially when it is a family member. Mom knew her last days were coming to a close. She knew that sometime soon she too would breath her last breath as do many cancer patients in the last stage of the disease. She knew it and that is the weird part.

I asked her a few weeks back why she didn't go out and do something she always wanted to do or buy something she always wanted. She looked at me with a puzzled look and said I have done everything I wanted to; there is nothing else to do. That attitude struck me as funny. It was funny probably because there are so many things I want to experience and do before my life here on earth ends. There are so many experiences I have only heard of but never tasted.

Mom had all the people around her she wanted. She had her kids and sisters by her side and that was good for her. She enjoyed her life even with a few regrets. I don't think the pain I feel for Mom not being here is what she would want. I know she wanted me to continue doing what I was doing. What she did want is for me and everyone around her to know that even when you feel like you are at the bottom with no where to turn, you can look upward for strength. Mom was a Christian and believed in God to the fullest. She instilled good Christian principles and beliefs in me and my sisters. Looking upward did not provide more understanding or relief or acceptance but what it did do is remind her (and me) that life is right now. Once it is over, it's over. Do the things that make you nervous or scared or push yourself because you really only have this moment to live. Look upward for strength and you will find it.

Let's Get Started!

Jeff